I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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