she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
