I will die if light touches me.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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