turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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