So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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