Where is the hickey?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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