rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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