420 ftw
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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