My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
