Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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