if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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