What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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