i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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