you lied. pity sex is amazing.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
