Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Someone signed my nipple.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
