these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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