lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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