What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
