idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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