i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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