I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
