the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Pooping to opera.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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