dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
