She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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