I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Randomize
