Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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