I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
