Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
