my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
