Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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