Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just gargled with NyQuil
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
