just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This is the high leading the old right now
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
