that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
