"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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