going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
