did you get engaged???
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
