I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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