Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
