Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
