what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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