im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She's the barista slut.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
