I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
