i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
