my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Randomize
