this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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