Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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