I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
