He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
