So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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