so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
