Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
